Relationships flourish on Truth and Trust, open communication, and a willingness to grow.

The purpose of this question isn’t to undermine my self-worth or seek validation. It’s about growth. We all have habits and behaviors that, over time, become second nature. Some of these habits serve us well; others, however, might be annoying, destructive, or simply inefficient. The problem is, we’re often blind to our own shortcomings.

That’s where a trusted partner comes in. By inviting my wife to share her perspective, I’m asking her to help me see what I cannot see myself. It’s an act of trust and vulnerability, but also one of respect. Her frustrations, feelings, and experiences matter to me, and this question gives her the space to voice them openly.

Not every relationship is at a stage where such a question can be asked comfortably, and that’s okay. Relationships are all different, and the level of trust and communication varies. However, one thing I’ve noticed, time and again, is a troubling trend: the inability to communicate—just to talk about stuff.

I’m not talking about poor communication, where people misinterpret or misunderstand one another. I’m talking about the complete absence of meaningful dialogue. We live in a society where the art of conversation is eroding, replaced by endless scrolling on our devices. Even the most sacred spaces—like the bedroom—are no longer free from the invasion of screens.

I recently came across a thought-provoking question in a men’s blog: “What is the last thing you touch before you go to sleep and the first thing you touch when you wake up?”

The answer, for most of us, is painfully obvious: our cellphone. This tiny device has become a barrier, not only to meaningful conversation but to intimacy and connection itself.

Breaking habits, such as the constant need to check our phones, is a topic worthy of its own discussion. For now, though, let’s focus on two essential elements for nurturing relationships: trust and communication.

1. Trust: Asking a question like “What should I change?” requires a foundation of trust. Without this, the conversation could easily devolve into defensiveness or hurt feelings. Trust creates a safe space for honesty and vulnerability.

2. Communication: Relationships thrive on open dialogue, but this takes intentional effort. It means setting aside time to talk, free from distractions. It means listening—not just hearing, but truly understanding the other person’s perspective.

When I ask my wife what I should change, I’m not just seeking feedback. I’m pursuing truth. I’m seeking to grow as a husband, a partner, and a person. And while the answers aren’t always easy to hear, they are invaluable. They help me uncover my blind spots, challenge my assumptions, and become more intentional in how I show up in our relationship.

This practice isn’t about perfection; it’s about progress. It’s about acknowledging that we all have areas to improve and that the people who love us most are often the best guides on the journey.

If this idea resonates with you, I encourage you to try it. Take a moment to reflect on your relationships and consider asking your partner—or someone you trust—a similar question. But remember, preparation is key. Choose the right time and place, and approach the conversation with humility and an open heart.

And if you’re not ready to ask the question just yet, that’s okay too. Start by reflecting on your own habits and behaviors. Consider whether there are areas where you might already know you can improve. Self-awareness is the first step toward growth.

In the next part of this series, we’ll dive deeper into the importance of breaking habits and how they can create space for better communication and stronger relationships. For now, take a moment to reflect on the power of trust, the value of meaningful conversation, and the courage it takes to pursue truth.

Are you ready to take that first step?